Wild, Witty, Wacky Wednesday!

10 Signs You've Joined A Cheap HMO!

10.Staff physicians include Dr. Who, Dr. Kevorkian and Dr. Demento.

9.Tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicle.

8.Annual breast exam conducted at Hooters.

7.With your last HMO, your birth control pills didn't come in different colors with little "M's" on them.

6.Your "primary care physician" is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.

5. Directions to your doctor's office include: "Take a left when you enter the trailer park."

4. Your kidney transplant surgery is held up while your surgeon awaits his arraignment for grave robbing.

3. The only expense covered 100% is embalming.

2. Only proctologist in the plan is "Gus" from Roto-Rooter.

1. You ask for Viagra. You get a Popsicle stick and duct tape.

Witty, Wacky, Warped Wednesday!

Top 10 Things You Don't Want to Hear During Surgery:

10. Ya, know. There's big money in kidneys. And this guy has two......

9. There go the lights again.

8. Oops. Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?

7. Oh, no. Where's my Rolex?

6. Hand me that... uh... that uh... that sharp thingy there.


5. Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that? 


4. Bo! Bo! Come back with that. Bad dog!

3. Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness.   

2. Hold this while I try to remember where it goes.

1. Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy. 

Wild, Wacky, Witty Wednesday!

Top Ten Signs Your Amish Teenager Is In Trouble

10. Sometimes stays in bed until after 5 a.m.

9. In his sock drawer, you find pictures of women without bonnets.

8. Shows up at barn raisings in full "KISS" makeup.

7. When you criticize him, he yells, "Thou sucketh."

6. His name is Jebediah, but he goes by "Jeb Daddy."

5. Defiantly says, "If I had a radio, I'd listen to rap."

4. You come upon his secret stash of colored socks.

3. Uses slang expression, "Talk to the hand, 'cause the beard ain't listening."

2. Was recently pulled over for driving under the influence of store-bought milk.

1. He's wearing his big black hat backwards.

Wacky, Wild, Witty Wednesday!

TOP TEN REASONS TO GO TO WORK NAKED...

1. Your boss is always yelling, "I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!"

2. Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.

3. "I'd love to chip in, but I left my wallet in my pants."

4. To stop those creepy guys in Marketing from looking down your blouse.

5. You want to see if it's like the dream.

6. So that with a little help from Muzak you can add "Exotic Dancer" to your exaggerated resume.

7. People stop stealing your pens after they've seen where you keep them.

8. Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work drunk.

9. Gives "bad hair day" a whole new meaning.

10. No one steals your chair.